


what more do you want

by lover_of_queens



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, but there's also a little bit of spice hence the M rating, like it gets soft my dudes, netflix pls hire me so i can make the show gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:13:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24397840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lover_of_queens/pseuds/lover_of_queens
Summary: “I gave you all I could give. What more do you want?”The question was finally asked, the tipping point. Yennefer had a decision to make. Except, the decision had already been made for her long ago … the first time she had set eyes upon Tissaia and thought she would never be so lucky to see a creature more beautiful. And since then every interaction, every accidental brush of the hand and gaze that lingered too long had led them here. To this moment.“I want all of you.”
Relationships: Tissaia de Vries/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 25
Kudos: 164





	what more do you want

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since I first saw the scene where Tissaia asked Yennefer "what more do you want" this fic has been playing in my head but I never had any time to write it! Now with y'know everything that is going on I finally got a chance. It's my first time writing for this pair - and I'm only familiar with the TV show - but I hope this is as much fun of a read as it was to write it. And if y'all like it then let me know! I'd love to write for them again!!

She swept the red paint across her lips, agonizingly slow. She reveled in the soft strands of the brush against sensitive flesh. The hard mahogany back of the chair she sat in wasn’t enough to dull the tingles running up and down her spine. 

She hadn’t been touched in months. Perhaps if she really properly thought about it … years. That does things to a person. And while she put on an uncaring and unbothered face to the world, the truth was that her insides twisted inside of her every day ‘til she felt like she wanted to claw open her own skin and let her soul escape. Of course, that would require her believing in souls. 

So instead she painted her face. Set ambivalence in her eyes and forked her tongue. Every single day. And then she went out and patted herself on the back for the pretty show she put on, whether it was for herself or for others she had stopped caring. She praised herself for hiding her pain from others and buried the thought that the reason why nobody could see the hurt etched on her face was because there was nobody left who knew this face.

She’d left them all behind. Or they’d left her. The cycle of leaving was getting too muddled for her to think about without incurring a massive headache and she had plans for the day and couldn’t afford the distraction. That’s what she told herself anyway. 

Because she didn’t want to consider that just perhaps, nobody really knew this face of hers. The new one or the old one. Though she didn’t know how much of a difference that made in the grand scheme of things anyway. She was more than her face. She was more than this body.

So why didn’t it feel like that anymore? 

She rubbed her lips together, smearing the paint over both. There was one person who had come close to knowing her. Who had taken one look at her, saw her trauma written over every inch of her skin, and still pronounced her worthy. Worthy despite it all. 

But Yennfer had to stifle a laugh, because at the end of it all she still had not proved worthy enough to Rectoress. Tissaia had seen the way Yennefer was starting to look at her, that burning hatred behind her eyes starting to soften into something else altogether. Something unspeakable. Tissaia saw it and pulled the rug out from underneath them, no explanation, no … anything. And Yennefer had never been the same since. Tissaia’s fear had been the last brick that she had needed to seal her heart away from the world. 

A sudden flash in the periphery of her vision pulled her from her thoughts, but before she could reach for the magic buried deep within her veins a scent on the warm air stopped her. For it was sandalwood and ocean salt, a smell she was all too familiar with. She ignored the twinge in her heart as she glanced up at Tissaia’s reflection in the mirror. 

(It was easier than turning around to face her, to accept that she was really here. Right behind her. And all she had to do was submit, turn, and cast her eyes on the face that haunted her thoughts at all hours of day and night.) 

“You like pain,” Tissaia said. Short and clipped, but the three little words had all the effect on Yennefer. Even just hearing the sorceress's voice after so long was threatening to undo the steel she’d wrapped ‘round her heart. 

“I inflict pain,” she responded. It wasn’t the greatest comeback but having Tissaia here unnerved her. She was the one person that she couldn’t go toe to toe with and come away with an easy victory … and Tissaia knew that all too well. 

It also didn’t help that Tissaia had managed to appear out of nowhere and say the exact words that had been plaguing Yennefer’s thoughts for weeks. She knew the sorceress was talented, but even mind-reading had to be outside of those talents. 

The look in Tissaia’s eyes was all Yennefer needed to know she thought there was no difference between the two, and maybe she was right. Tissaia somehow always ended up in the right and it used to drive her mad. Though now, with the woman she had never fallen out of love with right there, close enough that she could reach out and graze her finger against soft flesh … she didn't have the energy.

The flames cooled in her own eyes - a smidgen, all she would allow the Rectoress, but it proved enough for Tissaia. The woman’s words dying on her lips before she even had the chance to utter them. 

Yenner watched through Tissaia’s eyes as the thoughts swirled like chaos in her mind. The only indication that Yennefer wasn’t the only one who felt a little out of their depth right now. If Yennefer didn’t know any better she would say Tissaia was nervous, but her face didn’t betray any emotion and either way Yennefer felt long out of practice when it came to reading her face. 

(She used to know it better than her own. Though with Tissaia’s penchant for secrecy and stone-cold exterior Yennfer couldn’t help but wonder what that said about how much she knew herself.)

Yennefer watched as Tissaia allowed herself a slight smile, a shake of her shoulders. 

“My dear,” Tissaia began, and Yennefer couldn’t help but wonder if the pet name was a test to see how she’d respond. She kept her eyes unmoving on Tissaia’s reflection, “It’s been too long.” 

Indeed, it had been years since Yennefer had last set eyes on Tissaia. She’d considered going to her chambers one last time to unleash words carrying hellfire. To tell Tissaia that just because she wanted to pretend that the emotional undercurrent to their relationship was fiction, didn’t mean it wasn't real. 

In fact it had been by chance that she had even run into Tissaia that day, she had already made up her mind that she wasn’t saying goodbye. There was nothing left to be said, everything that remained unsaid between them would never dare pass the barriers of their lips. 

Yennefer had been passing through the halls for one last time, it wasn’t sentimentality really that had her going back to her old haunts. She just wanted to remind herself of how shit everything was so that years down the road her brain wouldn’t start romanticizing her time here. No, let her remember Aretuza as the pit of hell that it truly was. 

She hadn’t thought Tissaia might be walking the halls at that moment too. That the string tying them together might be pulling them even in this, their final moment. So when she’d turned that corner she hadn’t expected tears to prick at her eyes as she took in Tissaia’s small stature for what she assumed could only be the last time. 

So she had done the only thing she could. She turned on her heel and ran as fast as she could before Tissaia could see the swirls of conflicting emotions on her face before Tissaia could say anything to change her mind. 

Now … she just let Tissaia talk of where she’d gone after, Aedirn’s court and dead kings that she really couldn’t care less about. Though she still couldn’t understand why Tissaia was bothering with a history lesson of her own past, she was the one who lived it and she had no desire to be reminded of her own failures. 

Once Tissaia had started talking about the other apprentices that had been there with Yennefer, she found her patience wearing thin. As much devotion as she held for Tissaia she could only take so much talk of the past … yet she couldn’t help but feel that she was playing right into 

Tissaia’s hands when she finally opened her mouth to speak. 

“What are you doing here?”

Yennefer finally turned her head to meet Tissaia’s gaze head on but she wasn’t prepared to see the pain swimming in her eyes. The longing. It was hurting Tissaia as much as it was her, being here. But Tissaia ripped her gaze away before Yennefer could properly react to what she was seeing and turned her back. 

It was childish, that was all Yennefer could think. Why come and see her now just to play more games, just to dance around the truth of their feelings. 

Tissaia sat down on her bed and Yennefer’s mouth went dry. It felt too much out of the fantasies that ran through her head when she was craving release and all she had were her own wandering fingers. As Tissaia’s fingers ran over her sheets it was all Yennefer could do to bite her lip and look at anything that wasn’t her. 

“You’re not going to find what you’re looking for,” Tissaia said. “And those so-called mages that you keep knocking down the doors of will be of no use to you. Stop wasting your life looking for what doesn’t exist, Yennefer.” 

Anything else, she would rather talk about anything else. She could barely keep her composure with just Tissaia but this … no. She could not, would not, let Tissaia bait her into this conversation. So, she busied herself with the earrings on the desk, holding them up to her ears and pretending like she was studying them. 

It was some of the worst acting she had ever done and she was well aware Tissaia knew that. 

“You are pure chaos right now,” Tissaia said. The power wasn’t even in the words she said rather the way she said them. So sure of herself, sure of what she believed. And Yennefer knew it was just old hurt resurfacing as she felt the bile rise in her throat. 

Tissaia had no idea what Yennefer’s chaos looked like. But if she kept pushing then Yennefer knew she would soon see. Even now the cork she’d used to bottle up all of her emotions was in danger of popping. Glass shattering. She knew she could not hold it together for much longer, that if Tissaia stayed truths would be revealed.

Truths there was no going back from. The unsaid finally being spoken. 

“Yennefer, the brotherhood is getting more and more tired of all the noise you are making flitting about the continent. You cannot keep flaunting actions that are directly against everything the brotherhood stands for … my influence only goes so far.”

Yennefer didn’t miss the crack in Tissaia’s voice as she uttered her final words. And when she turned her head to meet the Rectoress’ eyes for the second time Tissaia did not look away. The first crack in her uncaring demeanor then. 

Yennefer wondered which of them would break first. 

Then Tissaia was on her feet once more and approached Yennefer with the caution that she would expect had she been some feral beast. She wasn’t expecting Tissaia to put her hands on her shoulders, she wasn’t prepared to finally be touched after so long. She definitely wasn’t prepared for that touch to be Tissaia. 

“It’s time to move on, Yennefer,” Tissaia said, with more care than Yennefer thought was possible. “Come back to m-”

Tissaia stopped. 

“Come back to Aretuza.”

But they both knew that wasn’t what Tissaia meant. Because Yennefer had felt the flash, the spark of energy when Tissaia had touched her. She’d seen the look in Tissaia’s eyes when that contact had been made after years of silence and distance. And it was all she needed to know why Tissaia was really here. 

Yennefer couldn’t take any more of these half-truths and buried meanings. And suddenly she was angry again, because she had spent years trying desperately to forget Tissaia, to expel the love in her veins like it was poison. 

A reversal for her infertility wasn’t the only cure she had been looking for all of these years. 

How dare Tissaia, how dare she come here and dredge up the past. Tell Yennefer to come back to her when returning only meant more of the lying to themselves, to each other. 

Yennefer got up with a start, slipping out of Tissaia’s grip like she was water. She passed Tissaia without focusing too much on how much smaller the other woman was, how easy the power dynamics could switch if she forced Tissaia to look up at her. 

But she didn’t trust herself to be that close to Tissaia. She knew her eyes would seek out Tissaia’s lips, that all rationality would go out the window when she started to wonder just exactly what Tissaia tasted like. Most importantly, she knew that if she didn’t keep her brain sharp then she’d agree to anything Tissaia, even if it was doing the one thing she said she never would again. 

“No, thank you,” Yennefer said. “I know how important Aretuza may be to you but I made a promise to myself that I would never set foot in that pitiful excuse of an institution again. And unlike some people I’d like to think that I’m capable of keeping promises.” 

“I’ve already given you a second chance at life. It is not often that people get offered that much yet a third. Don’t be ignorant, recognize the lifeline when it is thrown at you.” Tissaia walked into the centre of the room, once again closing the distance between them. 

Yennefer slammed her closet door shut, the reverberations echoing throughout the room. Shaking dust off the furniture that she’d never had the desire to clean. 

“Stop the fucking games, Tissaia. You want me back at Aretuza so you can get credit for taming that unruly mage who set about wreaking havoc on the continent. So that once again you get to come out on top.” At this point Yennefer was near screaming, if Tissaia wanted to see chaos then it was time to put on a show. 

“At least that’s what you tell yourself isn’t it?” Yennefer sneered. “The lie you tell yourself so that you don’t have to confront the real reason you want me back. You’re such a fucking fraud.”

Yennefer was so close she could see the blush colouring Tissaia’s cheeks, the tears pricking at her eyes. It was only when Yennefer felt a drip of wet on her collarbone that she realized she was crying. She resisted the urge to wipe away the tears. Let Tissaia see. 

“How did we get like this?” A question not expecting an answer, because what answer was there to give. 

“I gave you all I could give. What more do you want?” 

The question was finally asked, the tipping point. Yennefer had a decision to make. Except, the decision had already been made for her long ago … the first time she had set eyes upon Tissaia and thought she would never be so lucky to see a creature more beautiful. And since then every interaction, every accidental brush of the hand and gaze that lingered too long had led them here. To this moment. 

“I want all of you.”

And Tissaia’s face crumpled, because now it was out. There would be no going back, for either of them. 

Yennefer stepped forward and raised her hand to cup Tissaia’s face, only too aware that she was shaking. No matter how hard she tried to still her hand, her nerves would not listen to her. Because here she was, with the great Tissaia letting her touch her like this. 

“I want every single piece of you Tissaia. Whether it be good or bad. I want to know what keeps your heart beating every day. I want to know what scares you so much you cannot sleep. I want you in a way that I have never wanted anyone before. I want you in a way that nobody has ever wanted anyone before.” 

The tears were running down Tissaia’s face as fast as they were her own and brushed one away with her finger. Tissaia’s gaze faltered for a moment, her eyes flicking to the floor and for a moment Yennefer thought that all was lost. But then Tissaia looked back and her … Yennefer had never seen pain like that before. But she had one final thing to say. 

“I love you, Tissaia.” 

And then Tissaia broke free from her grasp and Yennefer’s heart shattered into a million pieces. Tissaia turned and walked back over the mirror, her fingers gripping the wooden chair so hard she thought for sure it would splinter. 

“Yennefer …” 

“Don’t. Don’t say that you do not feel the same, do not dare make me think I am delusional. I know I am not alone in this so do not make me out to be.” 

And then Yennefer was behind Tissaia, her hand reaching for Tissaia’s waist, cautiously. Tissaia didn’t move away, instead meeting her gaze in the mirror where they had started this whole thing only but a few minutes ago. 

“The brotherhood would never allow for this to happen and you are well aware of that. I have tried to keep this a secret to protect both of us from forces you cannot even begin to understand. So, Yennefer, what does it matter if I feel the same?”

Yennefer spun Tissaia slowly until she was once again facing her. If Tissaia had only been a bit taller they would have been close enough for her to smell the mint on Yennefer’s breath. 

“It is all that matters.” 

Tissaia shook her head in a way that Yennefer was all too familiar with, it called her naive without Tissaia even having to open her mouth. 

“I don’t understand and I will not pretend to understand this quest you have been on for a cure. For even at your most beaten down you have never been broken, Yennefer, your enchantment does not change this. But I cannot give you what you want, I cannot give you this child you so desire and no matter what you say now … I am … terrified that desire with triumph over whatever it is you may feel for me.” 

And suddenly, with that admission, the whole lot of it. Tissaia opening herself up, truly and fully for the first time since they had met … Yennefer knew that she would never want anybody else. 

“Fuck Aretuza. Fuck the brotherhood. Fuck fertility. You are the one I want until the end of days, Tissaia.”

And with that, Yennefer bent until her lips were only but a brush away from Tissaia’s, every nerve in her body was on fire, pushing her forward. But she had laid her cards on the table, let it be Tissaia to make the final move. 

And then Tissaia’s lips captured her own in a fire of years of pent up feelings and longing the like of which the world had never seen. Tissaia’s hands caught in Yennefer’s hair as she deepened the kiss, tongue snaking into Yennefer’s mouth. Her own hands pulled at Tissaia’s waist until their bodies were pressed together so tightly and yet it was still not enough. 

Yennefer’s hands moved to the buttons on the back of Tissaia’s dress, fumbling with them like some teenage virgin but her mind was too caught up in the fact that Tissaia’s mouth was on her’s and was pushing her over towards the bed. Yennefer supposed she could just magic the dress off, but oh, there was something so delicious about undressing your lover. 

By the time they reached the bed Yennefer had finished with the buttons and the dress simply fell off of Tissaia, leaving her in her undergarments. Yennefer brushed a trail of kisses from Tissaia’s shoulder, across her collarbone and up her neck. 

“Yennefer,” Tissaia moaned softly, her own fingers gripping at Yennefer’s dress in a way that suggested she very much wanted it off.

“Shh…” Yennefer whispered, her hands going to find the pins holding up Tissaia’s hair, “I’ve always wanted to see you like this.” 

She pulled pin after pin from Tissaia’s hair, softly so as to not hurt her, until her hair framed her face in waves, and Yennefer thought her heart might just stop in her chest. 

“Well,” Tissaia said, hesitantly. 

“I may not have been alive for as long as you have, but I have traveled and seen many people, but I cannot think of a single one that rivals your beauty.” 

Yennefer magicked her own dress off her, not missing Tissaia’s hmph at being denied the same pleasure of undressing her. In Yennfer’s defense the dress itself was magic, that was the only way in and out of it. And besides - Tissaia would have many, many other chances to get her undressed. 

So the two of them fell into bed, a sweaty tangled mess of limbs but Yennefer wouldn’t have it any other way. And hearing the way Tissaia moaned her name as she pressed deeper and deeper into her, Yennefer thought that she could very easily spend the rest of her days like this. 

* * *

It was dark out by the time Yennefer opened her eyes again, she and Tissaia had fallen asleep after finishing each other off gods only knew how many times. But the room was bathed in the warm amber light of candles so Tissaia must have woken up at some point. 

Speaking of, she glanced up at Tissaia, who was on her side gazing at Yennefer, blanket leaving nothing but the tip of her breasts open to the cool night air. 

“Gazing at me whilst I sleep, why Tissaia, you’re turning into quite the lovebird.”

Tissaia reached out to shove her, but she laughed and Yennefer did too. Mostly she was surprised that even after everything this all felt so easy, so natural. 

“I have a question,” Yennefer said, shifting so she could look Tissaia in the eyes, not bothering with the blanket for modesty. 

“You always did,” Tissaia said. A hint of a smile gracing her lips. 

“You asked me what I wanted and I told you. But you never told me what you wanted.”

“That’s not a question.”

“Tiss-” 

Tissaia laughed, but then her face turned serious as she took Yennefer in, every single piece of her. Then, she reached out and put her hand on the flesh above Yennefer’s heart. 

“I want this,” she whispered, “for as long as you will give me the privilege of having it.”

Yennefer pushed herself forward so she could press a chaste kiss to Tissaia’s lips before pulling away. 

“Then let it be forever.”


End file.
